[Page 240]

It is evening, and it is dark outside.^[2] It can be about half past four in the morning. After so much thinking and after doing this during the entire day and night, they fell into a deep and snoring sleep. But I can't sleep…something oppresses and bites me… I am thinking of something… I don't know what.

For several minutes my mother woke up, and told me about a dream that she had. She told me, she dreamed of small cookies, flour… after this – she traveled off on a train, said her farewells and kissed me. My mother said that this was not a good omen, – during the time of the first and second aktion I too had that dream. ‘But now – it is all the same to me, whichever way it goes, I don't want to torture myself for this entire time, I exhausted myself only for you…’ ‘While still in Sokal, I wanted to surrender myself… because I knew, no matter what, we would not be able to hide ourselves.’ ‘I only wanted to live to see the day when vengeance was taken on those who torture us in this way… but this is impossible… because…, even when they do not find us, we will be frozen by the frost, and the lice will consume us.’ – when they took your father, I cried so much… but your father did not make that much of an effort, he did not suffer so much… and after so much torture and pain, I must die… ‘your father, indeed, was a Tzaddik…’

With these words, my mother once again fell asleep. But I could no longer fall asleep… I wanted to take a nap… but I tried in vain. A variety of thoughts rattled around in my head, and I thought about every word that my mother had said… in the end, I could not control myself, and began to cry.

From time to time, I would stick out a hand… nothing, in vain… every time I took out… I never failed once. My mother would say to me: ‘should the Master of the Universe make it possible– even though it is impossible–and I will emerge free. I will ask the doctor how do lice multiply a thousand times at once?’

While I was thinking this way, I heard the sound of footsteps. I would then hide myself and I immediately heard firm footsteps and a shout: ‘Who gave you permission to sit here?’^[3]

It was as if my heart had stopped beating… I could not breathe… I became completely confused. Someone's hand grabbed me by the jacket with which I was covered, and began pulling it. Not knowing what to do out of fear, I shouted: ‘Mamma!’ But my mother was no longer sleeping. When they dragged me out of the cavern, my mother was already there… by herself, she was the first one to crawl out

It was frightfully dark outside, such that I could not see anyone. It was first when someone shone a flashlight that I was able to see three bandits with rifles in their hands.

– ‘|Nu – we go’ – one of them said.

[Page 241]

It became still. Suddenly I heard frightening wailing. The other Jewish woman and her child, who were lying on the other side of the silo, thinking that they would forget her, at no time showed any sign of life…now, only – when they began to drag her out, she began to scream and weep bitterly. The Ukrainian murderers were not expecting her crying, and forcefully yanked her out. It was from her screams that one of the Ukrainians understood some words and instantly became incited his greed.

– ‘Whatever you have to give – give it’ – he shouted out.

A minute didn't go by and in his hands already he had a ring.

‘You have nothing else?’

– ‘I don't have anything!’

– ‘and you’ – he turned to my mother – ‘you have nothing?’

– ‘I have nothing’ –

–‘and if we find something?’

– ‘then you can do with me what you want!’

– ‘good!’

‘Now come behind the barn and we will talk.’

All of us were afraid that, behind the barn, they will kill us and we began to cry and should as loudly as we could. Everyone of us said something, shouted and cried.

The Ukrainian commandant, a short, heavy and swarthy Vlasovite^[4], did not want me to wake up the people in the village, and began speaking with us in Russian.

– ‘Why are you screaming like this, and wailing?… I will tell you…’ The situation is as follows. A darkness fell on the Jews, as they let the Soviet partisans know about us. That is why we are searching for you…We will do nothing to you…our objective is to bring you to their leadership, and there,

[Page 242]

and we don't know what they will do to you… I believe that they will not kill women and children… men – perhaps… but you, simply, they will arrange for you to go do work somewhere… and you will work. For now, sit on the wagon and we will ride over to the command.

Hearing such words, caused our hearts to lighten for a minute. We began to get onto the wagon. Just me – because I was barefoot and had swollen feet from the frost, I could not get over to the wagon by my own power. One of the murderers took me, and carried me to the wagon. But in the manner that he carried me, it became clear that they are not taking us to their command, but to a brook.

When I was already on the wagon, I said to my mother, “If you want to, run away!” “I can no longer flee. It was only because of you that I tired myself out this far,” was my mother's reply.

“But… mother dear… I will not run away without you! And moreover, I am barefoot, I have swollen feet, and I cannot take three steps.”

We traveled on further. The peasant, who drove the wagon, was the same one in whose home we hid, and quite likely, he was the one who informed on us. Three Ukrainian bandits went behind the wagon.

“Where are you taking us?” my mother asked the peasant, “tell me”…

“I do not know”…

We traveled on further. Around us are fields covered with snow, everything around us is white. As if to make things worse, that night brought on an intense frost, such that all of us were trembling from the cold. Generally, we were far from the village, because once or twice we heard a rooster crowing in the distance.

Suddenly the wagon stopped and did not move. At first glance, it was a wonder to me, as to why it would remain standing in these white fields. However, this was no time to stop and wonder. Three Ukrainians came nearer to the wagon.

“Down!… Down! Why are you just standing there?… get down…” they began to shout in their Ukrainian language.

Now we understood what was going to happen… we heard a scream… a wail… but what good was shouting on this open field!

“Is this the company command?” my mother went to them and asked.

“Down! What are you standing for?… To death… an end!” and he delivered her a blow with his rifle butt.

We alighted from the wagon and did not stop shouting and crying… we knew though that this was our last minute.

[Page 243]

“Lie down… Lie down quickly!… don't ask a lot…”

“Dear people, what did we do to you…why do you want to kill us?”…

“In what way do we keep you from proceeding… have some pity!… don't kill us…. we fled towards you… we too want to live…”

“Why are you fiddling about?!” one of them shouted and hit my mother with his rifle butt.

“Death and an end!… you Jewish Moscovite partisans!… you betrayed our country!…”

With an ache in the heart, knowing what awaits us, we laid ourselves down on the snow. But I could not lie… even though I was certain that I would not flee. A Ukrainian hit me twice with his rifle butt, and I fell to the ground… but I stood up again. I stood and watched, how three bodies lie on the snow, like starved herring, waiting for death.

Suddenly, I heard an order from the swarthy Vlasovite… his strong voice, like thunder, shook up and tore the silence of the night's stillness.

“Konvodir^[5] ! Raz!” his voice echoed back.

At that moment, a shot rang out…light flashed about and lit the area around me. I became ice-cold… I began to tremble as if I had a fever… I became confused.

A minute did not pass before we heard a second order given… and again a shot, that tore apart the night's stillness and lit up everything around me. Now I saw the laid out bodies on the snow… but at the same time, I heard a quiet groaning, which came from the child's mouth… the child, who lay in the snow beside his mother… a bullet has struck the child.

The same scene was repeated in a minute. Suddenly, as I stood there disoriented, and looked at the group, just as one of the Ukrainians hit me on my bare flesh… I fell to the ground.

This time, I did not attempt to stand up, even though I knew that the column had approached me. Suddenly a shot was heard… I remained frozen stock-still for a minute… I curled myself up and remained lying down. As I lay this way, I thought to myself… I don't feel anything here… perhaps my soul is already in heaven?…

Soon the Ukrainians began shouting again: “Throw them into the brook!… tear off their clothing!”

I turned myself in the direction from which I heard the voices. Two murderers came closer to the Jewish woman, who lay wounded even back from the outset, and as soon as they began to tear her clothes off, she began to act wildly, screaming to heaven, and wailing.

[Page 244]

I heard my mother's voice; that voice will forever remain in my memory to the end of my life, because these were my mother's last words: “Have you no fear of God?! Are you going to throw us into the brook while we are still alive?”…

But the Ukrainians wanted to be rid of us as quickly as possible, and because of this, when the [other] Jewish lady did not stop screaming, they all stood around her, and one of them hit her in the head with his rifle butt. Blood spurted into my eyes… I remember nothing else. It was only early the following morning when I awoke, that I took note of the fact that I was in a hospital and my feet were wrapped in lamb's wool.

In a letter of March 16, 1946 to my aunt in Haifa, Dov Zigman writes at the end:

“My dear aunt! In several letters I wrote to you the memories of what I went through. I only communicated one fact to you, how my mother was killed. But this is not even one percent of what I lived through. After I fled the place by the brook, things became a hundred times worse. I was captured many times, and fled many times.”

However, it is impossible to document all of this. When I come on a trip, I will tell you everything.

Tekla Laszkewicz

1. The frightening facts of Ukrainian cruelty, about which Dov Zigman had already written in abbreviated form in his previously cited letter, he especially described more fully in a remembrance pamphlet, which this time he wrote in the Polish language and sent to his uncle in America and his aunt in Haifa. This is the Yiddish translation. [ – Ed.] Return
2. Zigman begins his memoir from the time when he and his mother lay hidden in a grain silo.[– Ed.] Return
3. Zigman quotes these words of the Ukrainians in the Ukrainian language – we provide the Yiddish translation. [– Ed]. Return
4. A soldier in the army of General Vlasov who had defected with his troops to Nazi Germany.[– Ed.] Return
5. A title given to the individual leading the captured. [– Ed.] Return

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